Sigh... I feel that i am not doing well in anything. Work, relationship, ministry. Everything seems to be happening all at once and I cant seem to handle emotionally. I have never been so drained and affected. That I cant control my emotions anymore and just block things out or act normal. Such a challenging period... feel like the world is crashing down on me and it is beyond what I can bear.

Haa... But the above are exaggeration of emotions and negativity. The truth is that God is with me and He is still in control. He will make a way out for me despite the many mistakes i make.

Suddenly feel like i have no control over things at all and i cannot see what is ahead of me anymore. I am walking step by step and it takes trust in God. When was the last time i went through such things? I think was 3 years back when i first started to take care of ppl in church. Felt overwhelmed, lonely, abandoned and hard-pressed. But that time i had strong fellowship support, with the rest of the cls and my close buddies around to tide me through and support. It was less difficult. Now, i feel like i m alone fighting my own battles and though there is support but much different also. At work, you dont know who u can really trust or share things to. Your friends can just be your enemy and I feel safer keeping to myself. My hiding defense mechanism.

Other than my own issues, I need to deal with the probs of others, its as if i do not have enough to handle. Sigh... when will this phase end? How come life seems to get more and more tough and difficult?

Clinging onto God and walking step by step. God I know you are carring me through this stormy period.

 

Signing off at 1:34 PM