So disappointed... I find it easier to forgive if the person apologise and do nice things to me. Then my heart will just soften and I will be ok with the person. But is this true forgiveness and I have really gotten over things? Maybe a few months later i will bring up the same incident when there are quarrels.

It is just so hard to trust anyone. Man can be so evil and even if they say things which they mean at that point of time, they might just change their words and go back on their words. Man being man, are fallen beings.

Trying to understand what love and forgiveness is.

Still in school setting test paper for next week. Cal needs a breakthrough... I seriously need a breakthrough.

Tonight whole family gg chomp chomp to eat. I m running away from being with family. Sometimes they are so protective that i find it hard to be with them, esp during this period of time. The things they say will just make me more negative and emo. Wanna go home to read some books and play my keyboard too.

Work is getting mundane and insecurities are acting up again.... Feeling small wherever i go esp when certain things happened recently. Seemed to have lost confidence trusting man. Heart is so torn and broken... I have a part to play too and mistakes i made. But so hard to let go, to forgive and to love.

What is love?
What is trust?
What is hope?

 

Signing off at 5:43 PM