Introduction:
Caught up with my good friend since JC last week, we went Indochine and had an enjoyable night there :) She was supposed to get married last year but because of financial stability and the fact that my friend was a little too young (22 this year) they postponed till next yr. Going to be her bridesmaid next year :) So cool, never be anyone's bridesmaid before... haha...

We were just sharing about my life and she was sharing with me about her 'love life' and how it has been for the two of them. The journey hasnt been easy for them, especially now that they are working towards marriage and there's alot of things to be considered. Btw both of them are Christians and they are in different churches. So that is one major factor that they need to seek God about and work things out. Some other things to worked out include financial stability because the guy just started working and my friend is going to NIE. Whether they want to buy a house before they get married or after that and do they have enough for marriage. Even family planning such as the number of children and when is the appropriate time to start having children cause my friend is only 22. Things also have to be worked out with both of their family side...

Despite all these, my friend said that she is very blessed by this relationship and how the two of them complement one another and added on strength to one another, how they spur one another on in their walk with God and how there is synergy as they serve together and find chances to serve together.

I am encouraged to see how God has worked in her life because my friend is suffering from a sickness which is due to some shortage in hormone production that cause her to have fewer happy memories and she ll fall into depression easily, having mood swings unexpectedly. She is on medication now and is not much better and it is amazing to hear how the brother loves and accepts her for who she is. When she has moodswings, he shows understanding and will even joke with her about it. Think this is what agape love means and before we enter into a BGR relationship we need to know and exhibit such agape love first to brothers/sisters/family and friends. If not the kind of 'love' relationship will be one that is conditional and will not be able to sustain. A Love that is beyond physical beauty and attraction. When i asked her why and how did she come to know that this is the one for her. She said she was attracted to the brother's character and though they knew each other for 7 yrs they only got together after tt and deep down she had the peace and assurance from God that this guy is the one. She mentioned about some character traits that she found admirable in the brother (but i forgot already... haha). Also, at the beginning as she was praying to God and when the brother started to show interest in her, she prayed and told God that if this brother isnt the one for her then close the door so that she knows. But God gave filled her heart with peace and assurance and opened doors instead of closing.

Some of us may be at the stage of desiring relationships and seeking for one. While some of us are just curious about this stage of their life which is yet to come. Whatever it is, i encourage us to know the agape love that God has freely given to us and to exhibit to others. Only then you will be able to love and accept the person whom you are going to spend the rest of your life with.


Biblical truths:
1) As imitators of Christ, let us grow in love for one another.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God." (1john 4:7)

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal
life." (john 3:16)

2) Unless you are ready for relationship, be it as a sister or brother, be careful that you do not mislead anyone or arose love.

"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." (Song of Solomon 8:4)


How do you know if this is true love?
(this may not be exhaustive but a brief summary)
1) Is it beyond physical attraction? Are you attracted to the person's character which is the one that last instead of physical beauty. Are you able to write down the person's character traits?

2) Do you know the person's strengths and weaknesses and knowing the person's weaknesses you will still love and accept the person? That when you enter into this relationship with this person and say you want to commit, instead of saying i will/can change the person's weaknesses, you say i will accept your weaknesses and love you despite these. Knowing that you are going to spend the rest of your life with this flawed person and still tell the person i love and accept you.

3) A marriage is not just about the two of you. Can you live and accept and love the family of your partner? The different background, personalities ...

4) Lastly, wait and be patient. Seek the will of God. Don't miss out on God's perfect and pleasing will.


Conclusion:
God's view of BGR was NEVER DATING! (Dating is without marriage in mind.) What gives you the right to try people out and play with people's feelings? Was love intended to be selfish/self-centered and to hurt people? God intended a man to leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. Hello!! Is 'ONE WIFE' and not girlfriends. As children of God, called out of darkness into light, let us live a life that is pleasing in the eyes of God and let us be assured that as we obey God with our life, His blessings and favor will be upon us :)

 

Signing off at 8:44 PM