Recently i m really tested in the area of r/s with people and my reaction and maturity in dealing with such things. i am the kind of person who tends to give up on ppl/ relationships when there's prob/conflicts/hurts/disappointments/not up to expectations. Then i will just give up on tt r/s and just leave it as there without trying to work out the r/s or try to grow it. Unless is ppl whom i m taking care of or there is a need to then i will step out of my comfort zone and do what is right cause i know there is a need to and it is impt. However, if is friends/peers/leaders, i will just forget it or nvm.

Recently facing some prob with ppl (both bro and sisters) and i am having this attitude of not wanting to do anything and just let it be. Then in the end, the r/s will be one tt flatuate from very close to surface r/s. Hai.... yest talked to qp and she encouraged me to go talk things thru with them and also try to build the friendship again and not give up. i m ok with having a few sisters supporting me and i know they are there so ll resist this thot, cause i ve to step out of my comfort zone. But i know this isn't healthy for me and my r/s with ppl is either the super deep kind or the super surface and i ll never ve e chance to build and maintain friendships with other ppl and also enjoying this.

So will be meeting up some of them to rebuild wat i felt was missing or lost. But the prob is i dun know if the person feels the same way. haha... feel kinda think-skinned here (its indeed easier to just forget it and move on with my life) but like tt i m not giving these friendships a chance and who knows something beautiful will come out of it?

Remind me of wat i ve with ven (my best frien, buddy, pal and spiritual support). Wanted to let go of our r/s some time back cause of some prob and it seems easier to just dun care and go separate ways (not tt i treat her like enemies or hate her or dun care her, just tt put a stop to the growth of the friendship). why am i like tt? hermit crab loh... scare to be hurt and disappointed, so i try all ways and means to protect myself. A very self-centered perspective which oftentimes end up hurting ppl like ven. But thank God tt she didn't let me go, wen i told her tt i want to draw away from her she was hurt but she talked things out with me and we reasoned out. Showing me grace and patience, eventually things worked out between us after alot of struggles and now i really thank God for me. Really thank God for this wonderful r/s and for her not letting me go.

another one is with mh. a few times i m quite frustrated with him so i will ve the attitude of dun care him or just let the r/s go. But this mh ah... he will always come find me and ask me wat happened. so no choice ve to talk things out and is thru such things and incidents tt we grew to understand each other better. Now the friendship is growing and i m really glad the way the r/s turned out... haha... we still ve misunderstandings now and then cause of communication but i thank God and thank him for the grace he's showing me and for trying to understand me.

These two ppl ve shown me wat it means to perserve in friendships and how they grow deeper thru testings and fire and conflicts. Now it is my turn to go amend some of the r/s or grow some of them. It's time for me to do something about it too and not just sit and wait and dun care. haha... easier said then done cause i m a bit shy wen it comes to this kind of thing and i dun know wat to do or say manz.... wat if it turns out super awkward? hahah....

Ve not really thot thru regarding this area of my life. But i will be praying and thinkin thru more, while meeting up some of the ppl to talk things thru and i m prayin and trusting in God tt God will work something out. I believe this is wat it means by a covenanted r/s and fellowship of the believers ba. Not to say quit when things get hard and i dun want to crush or end friendships prematurely (just because it was getting a bit tough)and failed to grow these r/s to its max potential and giving them a chance to dev. God places these ppl around you for a reason, ppl u meet and know is not by random chance. God place these ppl in your life for a reason.

 

Signing off at 11:27 AM