Today was a day of lots of self-reflection and looking at myself clearly in the mirror and seeing lots of pores and blackheads that was hidden deep in the skin and finally being revealed.

God i am truly sorry manz... sorry for getting my priorities wrong! For putting ppl first instead of You, for placing my 'ministry' before You! Oh man... God You are my first and utmost priority and i want my house to be built on rockz not sand.

Today i was struck by some things in my life (values, convictions and God)... many things and questions were just whacking me on my face and suddenly i realised my house isn't built on a strong rock. I always thot tt my rock was super strong... but (haha)... there's always things u can grow and need to grow in and today God revealed some of these areas to me and challenge me.

1) Being a christian is to serve ppl! Being a spiritual leader is to feed GOD's lambs, take care of His sheep and serve them! If i serve ppl in church am i serving my family? Am i serving my friends? Am i serving my relatives? Am i serving my lab mates? Do i ve e aroma of christ wherever i go? Do ppl see that there is something different in me? Recently God spoke to me about this area very strongly and question me about my service and heart for God. Am i truly sacrificial? Do i truly love ppl? If i truly know wat it means to love and serve ppl as jesus demostrated, i will be serving my family and perserving in them without getting frustrated, without being demanding towards them. Jesus came down to serve ppl (ppl whom He created), Jesus wanted to demostrate to us what it means to love ppl and how christians ought to behave. Love ppl and serve them out of love. This love will not demand ppl to appreciate, will not demand ppl to love you back or appreciate you back. This love is sacrificial is servanthood. Determined to look to God to understand this love and this spirit of serving more and more so that i can be an imitator of christ. I want to love and serve my cg ppl, my church ppl, my leaders, my family, my relatives, my friends, my lab mates... I want to be a christian wherever i go and not just in church. I want my life to truly reflect my identity as a child of God. I want to serve ppl as christ did and i want to serve in action.

2) I was resting in my room when my relatives came and initially wanted to just ignore them and go back to sleep but i knew that it has been quite some time since i spent time with them and i wanted to care for them and to serve them. Wanted to love my grandma and my cousins... So spent the late afternoon and night with them and had dinner with them. Oh my... my heart was so overwhelmed with compassion for them wen i was talking to them. God opened my eyes to see how much they needed God and e thot "calyn wat ve u been doing in ur family n relatives" came to my mind. The ans is nothing much... i ve sort of given up and just waiting for something to happen. My grandma was just sharing about something and my heart was truly pricked ... she needed to know God and is soon. Oh God... i need to pray and i dun know wat to do. Pray, pray and pray...

3) I had a good time with my cousin :) and i m so glad :) i was in the car with my cousin (pri 3) and he told me he enjoyed listening to stories so i invited him to stay with me during the holi and i ll tell him more fairy tale stories which he like alot. Suddenly an idea struck me... i can share to him about God by using fairy tale and stories. This is wat i shared and his response was amazing! i am so encouraged and my mind was thinking... i need to do more. I need to live out my christian faith stronger and more in all aspects of my life and not just in church. i dun want to be a christian by name only and in church only...

The story of a wonderful magician (part 1):
There was this magician who has the power and magic to do all kinds of things and create all kinds of things. This magician was good and he was filled with love. So out of love and His goodness he created butterflies. These butterflies will always surround him and sing songs to Him. Next he created the sky and separate it from the water. Then the magician though... hmm.. there is no dry areas. so he group the waters and dry land came up. after that he looked upon the land and thot: "the land is empty, so let me create trees..." So he created trees, flowers, fruits, birds and animals. Next he created man. He took some sand and create man and breathe his breath into this man and he came to life. He looked at the man and felt that this man looks a bit lonely so while he was sleepin the magician took a rib and made woman...

While i was telling this to my cousin, he kept saying wow and was really excited about this magician. Then at the end of my story he asked me: HOW DO I KNOW THIS MAGICIAN?

i was stunned and i was so happy... haha... but i was in the car with my uncle (his dad who is a devote buddhist) and so i told my cousin you just need to think about this magician and one day you will meet Him. Then i asked him if he wants he hear more about this magician and he said yes and was excited. So i told him i will tell him part 2 the next time wen i see him.

He told me he likes magic and even after we talked about other stuffs he still asked me where can he find this magician. I told him one day he will see this magician and that you will see his magic. God is truly at work here... praise God.

i am so glad that i responded to God regarding the area of love and serving and wat it means to be a true christian and wat it means to be salt and light. At some moments my heart was so overwhelmed i could feel tears welling up (cause of compassion and joy), but i dun want all these to end up just mere feelings but translated to actions and values and convictions built on strong rocks (word of God and God Himself). Amen!

 

Signing off at 9:40 PM