1) No more emo! It's unhealthy and its affecting my r/s with God and my life and allowing temptations to come in. So i m not gg to be emo anymore. In fact most of the time i emo is out of choice one. Choose to be emo and dwell in the feeling of sadness, self-pity and the indulging feeling of emo. Actually i can choose to not give in to it and go to God, to His word or do something! I am going to read and meditate on the book of proverbs and i believe answers can be found to my emo and to read books on it. but firstly is about the choice that i ve to make and tt is stop emo!!!! haha :)

2) To be an example in lab. Currently in lab i m like in my own world and never really talk to ppl unless they talk to me (cause all guys) and i am not really comfortable with them. just feel a bit awkward and weary of them at times. Partly cause of my past experiences too. But these are excuses man!!! Who am i now? I am a christian le and how am i acting? Totally hilarious and contridicting to who i m in church and wat i preach la. Time to do something. Smile in lab, take initiative to talk to ppl and know their lives and also to help out and most importantly to do my best in lab and not show attitude wen my expts dont go well la. I ll show my sianzness and i will sigh wen lab dont go well. Is it necessary for me to act like tt? sometimes is just to get sympathy from them and attention. But is it a good reflection of me and of God? An area tt needs more working

3) Family!!!! Past few weeks many things ve happened n i chose to take the easier route out and tt is ignoring my family and live as if i dun ve one. Terrible manz!!! Honestly, wat kind of christian am I? haha... sound harsh but true and at the same time an area of weakness i need to work on and grow in. Finally responding to God after a few weeks of struggling to ignore all these and now i ve made a commitment to God and tt is to serve my family. I am currently like a princess at home la... parents serve and take care of me and my needs, while i serve ppl in church? so ironic! Start by loving and accepting them and perserving in loving and accepting them even wen times are hard and difficult. Even wen i m pressured cause of my faith. Next is to serve them in action by taking initiative to help out in any way i can at home and not demanding them to love me back or to meet my needs.

4) I need to improve in organising and planning my time well. Make sure that i plan and not leave time to idle around. Live my life wisely.

5) Honestly i do not ve a very long lifespan in this ministry... kind of sad and suddenly feeling a bit lost like i dun know wats gg to happen to me after tt and wats in store for me. Feeling of uncertainty and this has only struck me recently. My time here is actually quite short and i need to make full use of time and tt means stop being emo and waste time n energy and also to maximise my time. Most importantly to rely on God!!!! So tt i wont be doing fruitless things but guided and blessed by God. Need to pray thru regarding this and trust and wait for God to guide...

 

Signing off at 10:39 PM